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"My girlfriend dumped me because she says I 'wasn't there' when we made love. She's not the first to say this. I know something's wrong. Can hypnotherapy help me?"
Your sexual dysfunction means you engage in sex more as an observer than as a participant.
You hold yourself back from entering a trance state; you have difficulty "letting go."
There are several ways in which a qualified hypnotherapist can help you to conquer this problem. Before using hypnosis it is essential that you receive competent medical advice.
Hypnotherapy will have a particular focus depending on whether the problem is organic or psychological.
Organic sexual problems require medical intervention. Hypnotherapy may be used as an adjunct, for instance, in helping you to heal faster after an operation.
More frequently, sexual difficulties treated by a hypnotherapist concern psychological issues.
Since the process deals with your mind all sexual activity during hypnotherapy takes place only in your imagination.
What you learn through hypnotherapy is practiced privately elsewhere.
Hypnotherapy may be used to heighten your sensual involvement and to help you to be fully present while engaging in sex.
A common, effective use of hypnotherapy is to lower your anxiety.
The anticipation of failure (particularly for men anxious about their ability to have or to maintain an erection) brings on anxious feelings.
These in turn bring about the failure. Hypnotherapy ends this vicious circle and replaces the anticipation of failure with the certainty of success and confidence.
Traditional sex therapy methods are more readily accepted by you when in hypnosis because the conscious, judgmental, analytical part of your mind is temporarily set aside.
Your subconscious then absorbs the new, positive messages you've asked the hypnotherapist to create.
Precisely because hypnosis taps into the autonomic nervous system, a person can use it to improve or alter functions that normally happen without conscious control, e.g., a man's erection.
Charles, a 27-years-old former sailor and currently an electrician, consulted a hypnotherapist because he was too fearful to have sex with his wife.
They'd been married three years and had had sexual difficulties since the birth of their daughter eight months previously. Charles was afraid he'd been embarrassed once again if he tried to make love.
"Kim laughed at me the first time and now she just gives me a look of disgust." Why? Because he couldn't maintain an erection.
Charles felt humiliated and frustrated; he worried that he'd never again have satisfactory sex with his wife. His dream of fathering a son seemed unattainable.
He told the hypnotherapist that he had no problem masturbating when alone. This was a likely indicator that Charles' problem was psychological, not organic.
As was Charles' report that he always had a firm erection when having sex with the occasional housewife in whose home he was doing electrical work.
To be on the safe side, the hypnotherapist advised Charles to be examined by a medical specialist to be absolutely sure there was no organic cause for his ED.
The doctor confirmed that Charles' trouble was "100 per cent psychogenic," meaning that for some emotional or psychological reason, he could not maintain an erection.
Of course, the more Charles tried, and the more he worried, the more flaccid was his penis.
The hypnotherapist explained to Charles that hypnosis could be used to uncover the cause of his trouble, or to tackle the symptom, or both.
Charles, being the impatient type, and of course eager to end his humiliating experiences, opted for the "quick fix."
Over the course of three sessions of hypnotherapy, Charles relived successful love-making episodes from his younger years as a Navy "stud."
Then the therapist used a melding technique to encourage Charles to see himself (in his imagination, while hypnotized) from now on once again enjoying a full, firm erection well beyond the time needed to satisfy his partner.
Positive suggestions were also made by the hypnotherapist to Charles about his prowess, his confidence and his desirability to his wife.
For three months Charles and Kim had a wonderful sex life. Then he lost an erection just as foreplay had become hot and heavy.
Kim, hurt and disappointed, reacted with sarcasm. All Charles' fears and anxieties rushed back. He returned to the hypnotherapist.
This time Charles agreed to investigate the cause of his impotence.
The hypnotherapist used various approaches -- age regression, age progression (in which the "future" Charles was to explain how he'd conquered the problem) analogue symbolic imagery -- but nothing worked.
In a subsequent session, with Charles relaxed in hypnosis, the therapist told Charles he'd have a dream. His subconscious would provide this dream as a way, either directly or symbolically, to explain the origin of his impotence.
Three nights later Charles dreamed he was outside a factory. It was night time and the factory loomed dark and mysterious.
Charles felt a strong urge to scale the steel fence that surrounded the factory. Then he tried to find away in. All the doors were shut and padlocked. A security guard ("very scary, because he had my face," said Charles) told him to go away.
But Charles persisted in his eagerness to enter the factory. He ran from the guard, to the back of the building. Here was the loading dock. Charles saw a bulldozer there. He jumped into its cab and began to operate the controls.
The guard reappeared, feebly told Charles to get off the property, to go to his own place. In the distance, Charles could see a stately castle which he somehow knew belonged to him.
But his only interest was in the dark factory. The guard shrugged. Charles started up the bulldozer and charged the heavy machine toward the small back door of the factory.
As the bulldozer began to rumble forward, Charles awoke -- with a massive erection.
The dream puzzled Charles. But it enlightened the therapist. To him it revealed that Charles was in the grip of the Madonna/Whore complex.
This is the attitude that divides women into "good" and "bad." Thus, a man's wife and especially mother, are "good." Prostitutes, other men's wives and and women of ethnic groups other than the man's own, are "bad."
"Bad" women are exciting; "good" women are boring. Sex is forbidden with "good" women but possible with the "bad."
A man with this complex may have sex with his wife occasionally, or until she becomes a mother, or while a post-hypnotic suggestion lasts. But his heart is not in it. Neither is his penis.
However, with a "bad" woman he has no commitment, no respect. She is there to be used.
His conscience (the security guard) barely bothers him about penetrating the stranger (the dark factory) but, perversely, does prevent him enjoying "his" woman (the castle).
When Charles heard this explanation, he nodded in agreement. This was indeed his view. And that of his father, uncle and most of his friends. He had no serious interest in changing this outlook, especially since Kim had announced she was pregnant. The hypnotherapist's suggestion that Charles and Kim seek marriage counselling fell on deaf ears.
A lawyer we shall call Mathilde did seek help from a psychotherapist. She had told the referring doctor that she rarely had an orgasm. The truth was that Mathilde never had an orgasm -- with her husband.
She'd been faking it for years. But she had climaxed with previous boyfriends. Also during a two-night stand a few months ago.
Mathilde had been a speaker at a lawyers' convention a thousand miles from home. There she met Roger, a brooding electrical engineer who had been trouble-shooting the hotel's elevators.
"He was not particularly good-looking but he had these soft grey eyes," Mathilde confided to the therapist. She smiled. "He was brutal in bed."
Mathilde was mildly surprised to find herself telling the male therapist details she had not felt comfortable confiding to her female doctor.
There was no question of her wanting to leave the marriage. She loved her husband, had a marvellous life. All that was missing ws the joy of orgasm. It was something she yearned for.
Until she met Roger the lack of orgasms with her husband had not bothered her much. Mathilde had become used to pretending -- and to satisfying herself in secret.
The therapist faced two dilemmas:
i) perhaps, despite Mathilde's conscious denials, there was some problem between her and her husband
ii) the therapist usually worked with couples, not individuals, on such sexual challenges.
He decided that, given the husband was not present and would be unlikely to come to future sessions, he would work with Mathilde, and he would use hypnotherapy. If the outcome was successful, there would be no need to explore possible conflicts between husband and wife.
First the therapist explained a little about hypnosis and how it could help Mathilde. Her first session was devoted to her simply relaxing into hypnosis, and becoming familiar with how safe and peaceful it felt.
In Mathilde's second and third sessions of hypnosis the therapist suggested Mathilde silently relive an earlier experience of orgasm.
In her mind she was to take particular note of the physical and emotional feelings which allowed her to climax.
When the orgasm in her imagination was over she would open her eyes, though remain in hypnosis.
Then the therapist pointed out, and Mathilde confirmed, that she had been internally very relaxed just prior to making love. And that during foreplay and intercourse, she became "lost" in the pleasure.
The therapist asked Mathilde to again close her eyes and this time to imagine herself in bed with her husband. Again she could relive the details silently, no need to tell the therapist anything, except when the imagined lovemaking was over.
When Mathilde compared the earlier experience with how she felt when making love with her husband she immediately noticed her tension.
"I am not relaxed and I don't get lost in the act." Sometimes she thought about cases she was working on and at other times she focused on making sure her husband was satisfied.
In the next part of the session the therapist first gave Mathilde suggestions that she could allow herself to relax with her husband, that she could allow herself to climax with him.
The therapist again waited silently while Mathilde played the scene through in her mind.
When she signalled (with a broad smile) that the scene had reached a successful end, the therapist closed the session with positive suggestions about Mathilde allowing herself to be relaxed, focused on pleasure and allowed to climax when making love with her husband.
And so it was.
* * *
Hypnotherapy has also been used successfully to overcome other sexual problems such as overlubrication, exhibitionism, and to uncover the reason a client became a transvestite.
Before seeking help with a sexual difficulty it is important to be sure it really is a problem. For example, a man may go to a therapist because he believes he suffers from premature ejaculation. But if the man is married to a woman who dislikes sex, indeed "wants it over with as soon as possible," that's exactly what is happening, so where's the problem?
Twenty-five years old Eugene's problem was real enough: he could not become erect. A handsome, single, bus driver, Eugene had had several medical examinations; all the doctors had concluded there was no medical cause for his impotence.
At first, hypnotherapy did not help Eugene. He became more and more despondent about his failure, scared to date and unable to sleep at night.
The hypnotherapist had used approaches one or more of which usually resolve psychogenic impotence:
> positive suggestions
> aversive therapy
> satisfying imagery
> arm rigidity
But nothing worked.
The hypnotherapist finally decided to enlist the guidance of Eugene's subsconscious through finger signalling and direct relay of images in response to questions.
(With finger signalling -- also known as an ideodynamic technique -- a hypnotized person allows the subconscious to answer questions with predesignated fingers that represent "Yes," "No," "Don't Know," and "Not yet ready to answer").
This approach proved fruitful, although at first puzzling.
Hypnotherapist: "I'm going to ask your subconscious some questions. There's no need for you to think about the questions or the answers. Simply allow your subconscious to respond through the fingers it has selected.
You will probably feel a tingling begin in the finger that the subsconscious selects. Then it will lift as though of its own accord.
Now, I'd like to ask your subconscious if there is a purpose served by Eugene's impotence?"
[This question is often answered "yes" and subsequently leads to an explanation such as a desire to punish self or partner for some reason].
[Fimger responses are indicated with ( )].
Eugene: (No).
H: "Does the cause of the problem lie in Eugene's past?"
E: (Yes).
[This response steered the hypnotherapist along the wrong path. He took no account of the literalness with which the subconscious absorbs information. Consequently, the hypnotherapist understood the "Yes" response to mean that there was a specific event, a trauma or a message, that began Eugene's impotence. As was later revealed, the "cause in the past" referred, not to a particular event, but to an ongoing process.]
H: "Did the cause happen before Eugene was 20?"
E: (Yes).
H: "Did the cause happen before Eugene was 15?"
E: (Yes).
H: "Before 10?"
E: (No).
[Now the hypnotherapist, who erroneously assumes some single event happened, switches from finger responses to image responses].
H: "Okay. I'm going to ask the subconscious to present to your mind an image that is somehow connected to the problem we're dealing with."
E: "I'm in a shop. I don't know how old I am but a man picks me up. I'm very scared. He holds me to him. Someone else comes in and tells the man to put me down."
[The hypnotherapist thinks that it is possible something happened in the shop to subsequently cause Eugene to become impotent. However, further questioning reveals that Eugene sees little more than he has already reported. There appears to be no abuse, no negative messages (such as "You'll never be a man.")
The session is drawing to a close so the therapist reverts to ideomatic questioning. He decided to check the medical verdicts].
H: "Does the problem have any medical basis to it?"
E: [Long pause]. (No).
H: "Is there something physical that would help?"
E: (No).
H: "Is there something missing in Eugene's diet, or something he should not be eating or drinking?"
E: (Don't know/don't want to answer yet).
[Eugene snaps out of hypnosis, much to his own surprise. In previous sessions for other problems Eugene had enjoyed hypnosis so much he had been reluctant to emerge. He puts himself back into hypnosis].
H: "Okay. Our time is nearly up. I want to thank your subconscious for its help. I'm now asking it to provide you with a dream that will give you a strong indication on how to solve the problem that brought you here."
[Eugene once again snaps out of hypnosis].
H: "Wow. We're clearly close to something significant, otherwise you wouldn't come out so suddenly."
E: "I don't understand why. But while you were talking about me having a dream something floated into my mind: smoking."
H: [Incredulous]. "You smoke!"
E: "Yes, a lot."
H: "There you are. That's what your subconscious was telling us: the cause of your impotence is smoking! Have you stopped before?"
E: "Yes. For a while."
H: "And did you have erections okay then?"
E: [Thinks back]. "Yes, I did. I did."
[And the shop? Why did the subconscious throw that memory into Eugene's mind? Perhaps because the shop sold cigarettes.]
Copyright (c) 2005 Bryan M. Knight
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Dial 1-800/AIDSNYC
Every Monday and Wednesday morning, promptly at 10 a.m., I leave behind my daily life and turn to volunteering as an AIDS Hotline counselor at New York City’s GMHC [Gay Men’s Health Crisis], the nation’s largest social service agency for AIDS.
For the next four hours, my co-volunteers and I sit in front of a bank of constantly-ringing telephones, talking to men, women, and teens who call in from across the nation with urgent questions about AIDS, the ravaging disease that has left 13.9 million people dead worldwide.
After almost 20 years, a whole generation, families are still facing the heartache of tending the sick, while scientists continue to be confounded by this stubborn, ravaging virus.
Although the federal government currently spends$4 billion per year on AIDS research, and $15 billion worldwide, there is no cure in sight for the viral infection and no vaccine available. Small wonder that the GMHC AIDS Hotline, the nation’s first, is flooded with more than 40,000 calls each year.
Listening to callers 8 hours each week, I often think the Hotline is actually a direct link to the soul of callers--an anonymous forum that allows each to reveal secrets and fears that they might otherwise never discuss with anyone. A Morning in May
This is the way it began: “Good morning, GMHC AIDS Hotline, can I help you?”
“Yes...I have a question...[hesitantly] My son...he’s 21...and he just found out...he’s HIV-positive [voice breaking] I’m.....alone, divorced. And I need some help...someone to talk to...”
“Of course....happy to talk to you...it sounds like this has been devastating for you....”
“It’s terrible. He told me two nights ago....he’s...he’s so young....I don’t want him to die. He’s my only child....why did this have to happen?” [crying]
Her son, she explains, had sometimes neglected using condoms, convinced he wouldn’t contract HIV infection from his female partners.
“How could he be so stupid?” she now asks angrily. “Why didn’t he know how to protect himself? I don’t understand. What am I going to do?”
We talk for 35 minutes, and by the end of the conversation, I notice I’m barely breathing. The distraught woman’s anguish is palpable. Her situation is every mother’s worst nightmare.The life of her child is in jeopardy and she feels helpless and afraid. I can’t imagine anything worse.
During the call, I do my best to employ the GMHC Hotline protocol of “active listening,” which involves using silence, empathy and gentle probing with open-ended questions. I’m also having my own emotional reaction to the panic in her voice, and I’m worried about whether I’m doing enough.
Toward the end of the clal, when she exclaims: “I don’t want my baby to die,” my heart plummets: “I know....I understand that, but there is hope,” I tell her. I find myself on the verge of tears. The Bad News
This mother’s story is too common. According to the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, Ga., 40,000 Americans (half of them under 25) are newly infected with the AIDS virus each year. Unprotected sex and intravenous drug use remain the principal modes of transmission.
“Teenagers,” notes AIDS activist Elizabeth Taylor, “are being very hard hit.” She refers to the three million adolescents who contract a sexually-transmitted disease annually.
“Heterosexual teenage football players who are healthy and drink milk can get it too!” says the 71-year-old actress, who has singlehandedly raised $150 million for AIDS research. “But teens are very ignorant and feel invincible. They believe there’s an invisible shield protecting them from the virus, when it’s actually aimed right at them.”
Taylor believes in addressing the problem head-on: “Tell your teenage son: ‘Maybe a condom doesn’t feel as good, but if it saves your life, it’s better than being six feet under.’ Intelligence must replace random sex.”
Although a new generation of AIDS-fighting medications is prolonging the lives of thousands, nearly half of the 900,000 people infected with HIV in the U.S. cannot afford these drugs. Since the virus was discovered in l981, 410,800 Americans have died from AIDS-related complications, and the disease has left 13.9 million dead worldwide.
Who Calls a Hotline?
Not long ago I took a call from a 15-year-old boy living in a small town who said he feels guilty about his sexual attraction to other boys and is scared to discuss this with his parents. I ask him if there’s a school counselor or relative he might talk to, but he says he’s too afraid to confide in anyone.
Being a teenager is hard enough, I thought, without the pressure of keeping this kind of secret. I felt angry and saddened that this child can’t comfortably discuss his feelings with his own parents.
I encourage him to call the Gay Community Center Youth Program in a nearby city. In the meantime, I assured him that he could call our Hotline anytime, that we’d be there for him.
This call was typical of the many we get from teenagers,whispering from their parents’ homes, confiding their blossoming sexual feelings and concerns. Our Hotline also receives calls from married men who phone from their offices, worried about extramarital sexual encounters; gay men suffering side effects from medications; mothers caring for a sick child or grieving for one lost to AIDS; even health care professionals themselves confused and requiring burnout support.
One particular morning, I’m struck by the number of single women who turn to our hotline for help. At 10:15 a.m. a distraught young woman calls, explaining that she had been dating someone “very charismatic,” after a two- year period of sexual abstinence.
“At first we used condoms and I was taking the pill to avoid pregnancy,” she says. But after her partner assured her he was HIV-negative, the couple began having unprotected sex. A few months into the relationship, she recounts, his behavior became “unpredictable,” until he finally admitted he was sleeping with other women and was addicted to heroin. Now she has to withstand the “terror” of waiting 3 months before getting an HIV antibody test. To help her cope, I give her the names of three terapists in her area. The call lasts 43 minutes.
At 11:15 a.m. I take a call from a woman who is breathing heavily. She says that four months earlier she’d had a brief affair with a limousine driver, “not out of passion, but because I felt lonely. This was so totally unlike me,” she continues. “I come from a traditional Orthodox Jewish family...” Although they used condoms, and she has since tested negative for HIV, she feels deeply ashamed, and has stopped seeing him. And because she has both a persistent vaginal yeast infection and a rash on her neck, she’s convinced she must be infected by HIV.
Although rashes, high fever, swollen lymph glands, heavy night sweats, sore throat, or other flu-like symptoms may indicate HIV, they can just as easily accompany the common cold or flu, or other type of infection. I encourage her to seek medical help and counseling, but the calls ends on a down note. “I must have it [AIDS],” she moans. I’m exasperated because it doesn’t sound that way to me, yet I can’t get through to her. The call lasts 22 minutes.
It’s 11.38 a.m. when a well-spoken woman, who says she’s an attorney, calls from her office, asking for the names of anonymous testing sites. At first very businesslike, she calmly takes down all the information. I ask her why she’s considering a test. Total silence. Then she begins to cry: “I....I can’t talk....I’m sorry...you see, I have swollen lymph glands....[crying]....And my doctor wants to rule out HIV...I feel overwhelmed...” Then, abruptly: “Where can I send a donation?” She thanks me and hurries off the phone after just 3 minutes.
These were one-time callers, but, as in any epidemic, an element of panic prevails, and our hotline also attracts an army of “chronic” or repeat callers who are intensely fearful no matter how benign their risk, many revealing continued misconceptions and paranoia about a disease that can be effectively prevented. We do our best to help them, but often they’re impervious to counseling.
Most poignant are calls we get from AIDS patients, phoning from their hospital beds, attempting to navigate the exhausting labyrinth of insurance and health care matters. One man, in hospice care, said he craved companionship and missed the “good old days” when he was handsome and healthy.
That call was a tough one for me as just the day before a close friend of mine, Joe, who had battled HIV for 16 years, had finally succumbed. Although at the end Joe was a mere skeleton, he was nonetheless at peace. “I’ve done what I wanted to,” he told me on our last visit. An avid gardener, he insisted on a final trip to his country house to see his garden one last time. For a moment the caller’s reality and the memory of my deceased friend blurred in my mind and I was overcome. Time for a break.
Face to Face
One of the most and unique services GMHC offers is called “A-Team Counseling,” a one-time, in-person session that’s free and anonymous.
Recently, I was on an A-Team counselling a 26-year-old HIV-infected mother from the Midwest. She had traveled to Manhattan by bus to find her estranged boyfriend, who, she recounted tearfully, had kidnapped her 7-year- old son. Disheveled, painfully thin, the woman was a disturbing sight. She’s learned that the two had already returned home where the boyfriend was, and the child put in his grandmother’s custory. custody of his grandmother. Meanwhile she’d run out of money for the return trip, been refused a loan by her family, lost her ID, gone hungry and spent two nights on the street.
Fortunately, this woman was registered at a local AIDS organization in her town. I telephoned her caseworker and persuaded him to buy her a one-way Greyhound bus ticket for $115.00. I also gave her subway tokens, a basket of food, juice and coffee. Smiling shyly, she thanked me for caring.
Shaking hands good-bye with this woman was a bittersweet farewell. What will happen to her? I wondered will her health deteriorate or improve? Will she gain control of her life and be able to provide for her son? I’ll never know. One thing I do know: She’d appeared with the sorrow of a difficult life in her eyes, but when she left, she was elated at the thought of being reunited with her child. It seems that with faith and a helping hand, almost anything is possible. * * * * *
10 BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT AIDS AND HIV (This list would probably be most effective when presented in a vertical chart, the misconception on the left, the correct answer on the right.)
1)The AIDS virus can be transmitted through saliva, sweat, tears, urine or feces; also through deep kissing.
1) HIV can ONLY be transmitted through four bodily fluids: blood, semen, vaginal secretions and breast milk--and can also be transmitted from a mother to her child before birth, during birth, or while breast feeding. The exchange of saliva through kissing is no-risk, unless the saliva has blood in it and both you and your partner are bleeding in the mouth simultaneously.
2) HIV may also be transmitted through casual contact with an infected person.
2) You can’t get infected from toilet seats, phones or water fountains. The virus can’t be transmitted in the air through sneezing or coughing. You can’t get HIV from sharing utensils or food or from touching, or hugging. HIV dies after being exposed to the air. Therefore, touching dried blood on a shaving blade, a toothbrush or a bathroom counter top is no risk. In any case, unbroken skin is impermeable, like a rubber raincoat, and cannot absorb the virus whether it’s alive or dead.
Blood transfusions and medical procedures in the U.S. are safe. Giving blood is completely risk-free. The chance of getting HIV from dentists or other health care providers is too low even to measure.You can’t get it from mosquitoes or other insect or animal bites.
3) Oral sex is just as risky as vaginal or anal intercourse.
3) Although not 100% risk-free, oral sex is considered a low-risk activity,except if: you have bleeding gums, recent dental work, open sores such as a herpes lesion, any cut, blister, or burn in the mouth, or if you’ve just brushed or flossed your teeth. Also, oral sex with an infected woman is riskier if she is having her period, since menstrual blood can contain HIV. Overall, latex barriers, (such as condoms or dental dams) used during oral sex reduce the transmission of not just HIV, but other sexual transmitted diseases.
4) Animal skin, latex and polyurethane condoms are all equally effective in preventing HIV infection and you can use ANY lubrication on the condom desired.
4)Only latex or polyurethane condoms may be used, as HIV can pass through an animal skin condom. With latex condoms, only water-based lubricants--like K-Y jelly or H-R jelly--may be used. No lubricants with oil, alcohol, or grease are safe.Petroleum jelly,Vaseline, Crisco, mineral oil, baby oil, massage oil, butter and most hand creams can weaken the condom and cause it to split. However, with polyurethane condoms, petroleum-based lubricants can be used.
5) Women have to rely on men using condoms during intercourse to protect themselves against HIV. 5) Women may employ the “female condom,” a plastic sheath that can be inserted in their vaginas and used for protection against HIV. It can be inserted up to 8 hours before sex, has rings at both ends to hold it in place and can be lubricated with oil-based lubricants that stay wet longer. In addition, women can carry conventional condoms for their male partners’ use.
6) If a woman is HIV-positive, her offspring will automatically be born infected with HIV. 6) With no medical treatment taken, about 25% of HIV-positive women will give birth to infants who are also infected. However, the use of anti-HIV medications has resulted in a significant decrease of mother-to-child transmission of HIV in utero and during delivery to less than 5%. (NYT 10/19/ 99].
7) AIDS is fundamentally a gay disease contracted by white males. 7) Recent data compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicate that young gay Hispanic and African-American men and heterosexual women are the fastest growing segment of the population being infected with HIV. Women now account for 43% of all HIV infected people over age 15. [NYT 11/24/98] African-American and Hispanic women account for more than 76% of AIDS cases among women in the U.S.
8) Heterosexual men are not really at risk for contracting HIV, even if they don’t use condoms. 8) The inside opening of the penis is composed of highly-absorbent, sponge- like mucous membrane tissues, which can provide a route for HIV-infected vaginal secretions or blood to enter the bloodstream. Proper condom use protects men from infection.
9) The AIDS epidemic is largely over because new AIDS medications like protease inhibitors and others have turned AIDS into a chronic, not a terminal disease. 9) In the U.S., AIDS is the fifth leading cause of death for people 25-44 years old. Roughly half of all those infected with HIV in the U.S. are not receiving any medications or medical care. AIDS now kills more people worldwide than any other infection, including malaria and tuberculosis.[NYT 11/24/98] In 1998 alone, 2.5 million people died of AIDS worldwide. 13.9 million people have died since the virus was discovered in 1981.
10) If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV through unprotected sex, you can take an HIV antibody test 2 weeks later and get an accurate result.
10) The standard “window” or waiting period remains a full 3 months. However, because the widely-used HIV antibody tests (The ELISA and Western Blot) have become so sensitive, about 95% of people will procure an accurate result 4-6 weeks after a possible exposure to the virus.
* * * * [Note:The information stated above was reviewed for medical accuracy by Dr. Todd J. Yancey, an infectious disease specialist practicing in New York City and affiliated with New York Presbyterian Hospital, NY, Cornell Campus.]
THE CHILD LIFE PROGRAM
“Mommy takes a lot of medicine and Mommy’s really tired sometimes and she can’t take you to the park as much as she used to. It’s not that I don’t love you...and that I don’t want to...but Uncle Jack’s going to take you to the park today.” --A mother living with AIDS, a client at GMHC, talking to her 6-year- old son.
In New York City alone, 28,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS since the epidemic began [NYT 12/13/98]
GMHC’s unique Child Life Program serves HIV-infected parents and their children--who may, or may not, be infected with the virus. “We help families strengthen their ability to cope, relieve the pressure of parenting with support services, and teach parents how to talk to their kids,” says Child Life Program Coordinator Alison Ferst. “Unfortunately, should a parent or child be sick enough to be facing death, we also help them walk through it with grace and dignity---as opposed to feeling alone, isolated and frightened.
“We also encourage sick parents to make stable legal plans for their children who may be left behind,” adds Ferst, “and to have disclosure conversations with the children in advance, so you don’t have a child standing at her mother’s funeral, not sure where she’s going next.”
When an HIV-infected Mom arrives at GMHC to have lunch, attend a support group, consult with a lawyer, or access the acupuncture clinic, she can leave her children in a spacious playroom, decorated with fanciful murals and a giant tree hand-painted by the famed children’s story writer and illustrator, Maurice Sendak, who donated his art. [see photos] The program provides: child- sitting, nutrition services, a food pantry, art and magic classes, and recreational trips--church picnics, seasonal apple-pumpkin picking, amusement parks, zoos, museums, beaches. Also: homework help sessions, holiday parties, hospital visits, summer sports and weekly support groups for HIV- positive parents and their HIV-negative children.
This unique program also features: Cooking classes for kids who sometimes prepare meals for sick parents; Pediatric Buddies, GMHC adult volunteers who play with sick children and also assist with family chores; Fun With Feelings Support Group, Friday Evening Family Time, Birthday parties, and a Holiday Gift Drive.
“Children infected or affected by AIDS,” concludes Ferst, “want to be like other kids: They want to play with their friends, want to know that someone will always take care of them, want to know they’re not alone, and often wonder if it’s their fault when Mom or Dad gets sick.” These children need a helping hand and any of us can provide one.
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If someone uses viagra or any other drug used to treat erectile dysfunction (ED) then he must be getting alarmed by the price that he will pay for sexual satisfaction. I will not advice them that they should stop using viagra as a treatment but I would definitely suggest them to go for a cheaper choice that supplies the same result in the end. But let us first analyze what is the problem that makes a man use such medicines. It is erectile dysfunction. There are many things responsible for ED.
It can be examined at different level that comprises psychology and medical reason. If a person is not sexually aroused even when he commits himself, it can be defined as erectile dysfunction. ED is constant inability of generating and maintaining erection hard enough to penetrate. It can occur at any age but ED loves to attack people in there fifties. Everyone faces an occasional stint of ED. As one grows old he can experience the change in erection function. It is natural and nothing to worry about because generic viagra has arrived to save men from getting embarrassed in bedroom.
Pfizer introduced oral pill viagra in 1998 and it created uproar, which is contrary to the reaction generally related with a launch of any usual medication. Since then more then 23 million people have been put it to good use. Different pharmaceutical companies have launched generic version of viagra. It is just as safe and effective as their brand-name counterparts. Doctors worldwide are prescribing generic viagra to all those suffering from ED. The results have been encouraging and these men have enjoyed their sexual lives as before. Trials have shown that generic viagra is safe to use and can be combined with a number of medicines that one is prescribed or buys over the counter from time to time.
There are many generic options of viagra available in most part of the world. Caverta, silagra, Edegra, kamagra, veega, and Meltabs are few trusted generic names used by ED patients. All these medicines and viagra have one thing in common and that is sildenafil citrate. The other common thing is that all these medicines are not effective until and unless a man is physically and mentally aroused by sex desire.
Erectile dysfunction or impotence is an inability of a man to get or sustain an erection because of shortage of blood in penis. Doesn’t matter he is sexually stimulated or not. The causes of ED are different from person to person. As I said all these generic versions of viagra has a chemical called sildenafil citrate, which is the most important stuff, which helps arteries in the penis to relax and expand, by reducing the effect of an enzyme called pde5. Because of which more and more amount of blood flows into the penis resulting in hardness of penis and because of this hardness quantity of blood flowing out of the penis gets decreased and penis gets erected which last for long enough time to enjoy the sexual act. Just like viagra, generic viagra also does not provide protection from any sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV.
These generic viagra medicines come in tablets of 25mg, 50mg, and 100mg. Most patients can start with 50mg. Generic versions of viagra can be taken 30 minutes before starting any sexually activity and the effect of all the generic versions of viagra lasts up to four to five hours just like viagra. There is no food restriction when it comes of using generic viagra, but there is a possibility that it may take a little longer to show its effect if it is taken after a high fat meals like fish, cheeseburger, french-fries etc. Just like viagra, generic viagra should not be taken more than once a day. Do not take more or less of it or take it more often than prescribed by your doctor. It is also advised to not to drink too much alcohol before taking generic viagra because drinking alcohol can cause a delay in getting erection.
Just like viagra, generic viagra can cause some side effects. These effects are usually mild to moderate and usually don't last longer than a few hours. Some of these side effects are more likely to occur with higher doses. The most common side effects of generic viagra are headache, flushing of the face, and upset stomach. Less common side effects that may occur are temporary changes in color vision (such as trouble telling the difference between blue and green objects or having a blue color tinge to them), eyes being more sensitive to light, or blurred vision. In rare instances, men have complained of an erection that lasts many hours. This problem is called priapism. You should call a doctor immediately if you ever have an erection that lasts more than 4 hours. If not treated right away, permanent damage to your penis could occur. Heart attack, stroke, irregular heartbeats, and death have been reported rarely in men taking generic viagra.
The best way to buy generic viagra is to go online pharmacy and order them. These Internet pharmacies sell cheap generic viagra as compared to other ways of buying medicines. Buying online, generic viagra gives the best prices along with free home delivery facility and complete caution. What more could one ask for from within the comforts of his sitting room.
One thing I would like to remind is, always enjoy safe sex and for those who are suffering from ED, enjoy it with generic viagra.
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What could be more serious than to be on the receiving end of an STD. The answer is, millions of people are choosing to ignore the warning signs of safe sex therefore causing epidemics like the plague.
The plague as I remember go back to the days of Guy Fawkes where people had no help or treatment like we have today in the 21st century.
Ignorance has to be top of the list why this is a major concern. If you told me that a death sentence came with casual unprotected sex you would not have to repeat it a second time.
How many warnings is it going take for people to accept the dangers on what it is like to be abused by a STD. You have no say in the matter when it goes on a path of destruction as i.e. taking you physically and mentally
Some STD comes with the death penalty if left untreated. Years ago the death penalty was imposed upon you; nowadays people inflict it on themselves.
Wear a glove when making love should be your number one priority. VD stands for (Venereal disease) I now see it standing for (Vast distribution) of this killer disease that infects millions all over the world.
Sexual contact with a stranger/s is the biggest offender leaving an aftermath behind as in heartache suffering pain and hospital appointments. Clinics have to be visited for weeks maybe months, and in some unfortunate cases no clinic visits to attend. All because the infected sufferer left the STD to fester and eat away at them like maggots devouring a corpse.
Please seek advice early
Unclean sex diseases can be fatal and if untreated causing infertility in women.
Syphilis symptoms, expect to lose control over your own mind syphilis attacks the nervous system and then goes on to assault the brain which leads to dementia even death.
Medication and treatments are readily available so if in doubt consult your doctor. This is not a headache that goes away in time, and time is what you do not have after contracting a STD. Get attention immediately
As far as I am aware we still have no cure for Herpes another STD that comes with blisters and very painful scabby sores that break out in there own time around the genital area, not a pretty sight, but who is going to see as you wont be playing the field for a long time to come all because you chose not to follow the warning signs..
Pregnancy and Herpes not a match made in heaven,help protect your unborn child by talking to someone.
Don't leave it to chance I have reason to believe about 15 million cases in the United States took chances. No one is invulnerable.
Gonorrhea is not to be snubbed it needs to be rubbed with special creams and oral medicines. It is an early stage of the disease so nip it in the bud early. The early bird catches the worm.
Pubic lice otherwise known as crabs can cause major havoc and discomfort in the lower region. For a small parasite they too cause stress, these infectious little characters embed and bury themselves into the flesh causing an uncontrollable itch which can prove to very embarrassing when out shopping. Get it sorted.
I could go on and on pointing out the risks of STD like HIV and its dedicated follower the dreaded full blown aids. This can be contracted by other sources not just sex...
Sexual contact with your partner should be a worry free zone thus giving you peace of mind so you can enjoy your sexual encounter.
Sex where both parties get to together should be romantic and fun Cause for concern throughout the sexual activity will not give you the results you would expect from a night of passion.
If you want to play cupid then don't be stupid, think condom Men are from Mars women from Venus, common sense says cover the PENIS.
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Today, Viagra is the way of life for all those who have been suffering from the disease of erectile dysfunction. You just need to change your attitude to fight this problem. This ailment of ED is very much treatable with the availability of whole range of treatments from psychotherapy to complex surgery.
Sildenafil Citrate commonly known as Generic Viagra is one of the valuable contributions of medical sciences to fight against erectile dysfunction. No doubt, Generic Viagra has been the leading choice of the millions of people who have decided to fight the problem of erectile dysfunction. Generic Viagra is a generic equivalent of Viagra that is used to treat impotence or erectile dysfunction in men.
If we analyze erectile dysfunction, it is the inability of a man to achieve or sustain sufficient erection to have a successful sexual intercourse. It is different from other conditions like lack of sexual desire or problems related to orgasm and ejaculation which also cause hindrance in successful intercourse. This problem is normally encountered by men above the age of 40 years and the incidence of having this problem increases with age.
To increase the body's ability to attain and maintain an erection during sexual stimulation, men suffering from erectile dysfunction can resort to intake of Generic Viagra. The popular forms in which Generic Viagra is available are Kamagra, Penegra, Silagra, Caverta and Uprima. It has gained confidence of people due its amazing performance. Normally a generic Viagra dose starts showing its effects within 30 minutes of its consumption.
The best thing about Generic Viagra is that it is highly effective and is also quite safe as it works with the natural chemicals in the body to give the required erection in the penis. Always consult the doctor before taking Viagra, especially when you have problems related to heart, kidney or liver. Men suffering from erectile dysfunction are also suggested to go through the valuable information about Generic Viagra which would educate them about its usage and benefits. This information is easily accessible at various medical shops and online pharmacy stores. Buying online is the best way to buy as cheap generic Viagra is easily available here.
The constant research and development work in going on to better the effect of Viagra. This would definitely provide enhanced sexual experience.
